Thursday, March 5, 2009

40 Dares in 40 Days

Marriage is a lifelong commitment and REAL love survives the beauty and ugly of life - laughter, tears, hope, fears, mistakes, human errors, and world war III. That unconditional love moves mountains, swims the sea, and never leaves one alone. 40 days is just a little challenge compared to our days of life…and 40 dares give us the strength to endure love for a lifetime. My parents and Andrew and I have begun an adventure that has already given us the will to fall in love even more, to stay in love for the rest of our lives – The Love Dare (from the movie Fireproof).

Andrew and I watched the movie and encouraged other married couples to do the same. My parents said they watched the movie and we all agreed…great story! Daddy and Andrew didn’t seem to think the movie itself was all that great…but agreed it was a wonderful story. It motivated me to get the book and get started on ‘Fireproofing’ our marriage. My mom was inspired and even sent us a card to let us know that they have too bought the book and started it. Mom thought it might take them 80 days instead of 40…bumpy start. In the meantime, I find out what the bumpy start was about:

From mom - My idea was that we would read the book at night before bed. Then we'd do the daily "dare" the following day. Wednesday's dare (which we had read Tuesday night) was not to say anything negative to each other. During the day Wednesday, your daddy had tried to get ahead and read Thursday's dare which was to do some unexpected act of kindness.

I got home from work and he said something I perceived as negative. I proceeded to remind him that we were not supposed to say anything negative. He said, "Well, you didn't even notice that I did the dishes for you." Realizing that he had read ahead...I firmly said, "We are on "don't say anything negative" day...not "do an unexpected act of kindness" day. After we argued over this a few minutes...we both started laughing. He ended up telling me that he had already done the next day's "kindness" dare, but I quickly told him that he did it on the wrong day and he would just have to think of some other act of kindness for the next day.

Anyway...I'm wondering if the book to help our marriage is going to be worth it. Your Daddy now calls the book "Fire Starter". We continue to do it, but having a little fun at the same time.

Then she proceeds to tell me how she got daddy involved…

While in E-town, I had your Daddy dropped me off at Lifeway. I wanted to surprise him with the Love Dare book. I was really excited about getting the book and starting the marriage enrichment exercises.

I came out of Lifeway almost beaming. I was so excited as I pulled the book out of the bag and showed it to your Daddy. He responded, "What is that?" I excitedly told him that this was the book referenced in the moive that we had just seen that weekend.

His reply..."What do we need that for? That's silly? What's wrong with our marriage? You just got that because of that dumb movie...I didn't even think that the movie was that good!"

By then...my facial expression had changed to look like his...eyebrows crunched...lips pouted out..MAD! I told him to take me back to Lifeway so I could tell them that my husband thinks our marriage is perfect and we have no need for this book. I pretended to return the book and tried to make your Daddy feel guilty all the way home.

Around 10:30pm, I came into the family room...smiling and said, "I've got a surprise for you tonight." I kind of winked as his face quickly made a transformation. I sat down beside him and pulled out the book :) It did make him laugh!

Moral of story...We all don't see the same needs...but we are capable of convincing a person to do what we think is best :)

FYI…my dad had back surgery in January. So, he’s off for several months. In the meantime, I can see and hear him enjoying his time off…he has worked so hard and too much for our family. I believe God slowed him down for a reason…to enjoy the richness of love, relationships, and life :)

And the Love Dare continues…

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