Keep your name, hyphenate, or take your husband’s…

The struggle and nightmare of changing my name was revisited when at the Post Office a few days ago, I was asked, “Would you like to renew your passport?” all while I’m only there to mail off my school applications and get some stamps. “Sure, that would be great since I got married and changed my name. What do I need to do?” She hands me the forms and they just need to be completed and returned before your one year…Oh, by the way, you’ll need your marriage certificate. Okay, I have several copies at home. Nope, not good enough…they need my “official” marriage certificate! Sure, let me run to my lock box in Kentucky and hand it over. In addition, I’m wondering how many “official” copies do I need to have on file or carry around?!

During the year and a half of being engaged, I struggled with changing my name (and pondered on whether to stick with my last name for a long while). How could I go from the Old Rugged Cross to a Dill Pickle?! Plus, women have to go through so much more trouble with documents, even months and years, down the road! I have to have my "official" marriage certificate for nearly everything I do with my ID! Then, I thought about hyphenating (came close to writing it out on my new SS card), but many people told me that's ridiculous. In fact, I hear people make fun of hyphenators quite often...my name at work IS hyphenated (long story) and does seem to be annoying at times and my maiden name is still on my work email address due to the long wait process of my name being changed (I was still a Cross legally until my SS card was changed). Anyhow...it's a research thing and a personal identity thing. For me, it’s more of an identity issue since I only have one published research article…that's who we are and how we've always been known! That's my family name!

At the Social Security Administration building in a shady area here in Memphis last fall, I was my typical, happy, independent, fearless, self, until…I was yelled at in the parking lot for not parking at the appropriate business location and pretty much didn’t listen to my question of “where to park”, yelled at in the building for letting a stranger borrow my cell phone, and basically had the alienated, minority feeling like “are you stupid?” I was the only white person in the building and even in the area…but it didn’t bother me one bit, plus, I don’t see colors – we’re all humans. I get to the window just to find out I needed more documents with me to change my name on my SS card…felt like I just wasted my time! FYI, newly-married ladies...original marriage certificate for new SS card, marriage certificate + new SS card for driver's license (still haven't changed mine!), and original marriage certificate for new passport (must match new driver's license!). So, my first week as a newly-wed in Memphis…was bombed! At least I was prepared the 2nd time back, but was taking forever at the window until the agent says, “so what you do want your name to be” in a rude, impatient tone. I scratched out my name a couple times and finally left it at Tiffany Cross Dill! There you go sir…I’m Tiffany Cross Dill!

Ironically, I’ve been hearing stuff lately on the news, how they (not sure who "they" implies to - I think a survey was done) think it should be mandated that a woman takes her husband's last name..."mandated"...hmm, I guess I can see the logic behind it all such as when kids come along, plus, a man and woman leave their mother and father to become one…so it makes sense. But isn’t “mandating” a little extreme?! There are some reasons why you shouldn't hyphenate...click here to see!! Reminds me of the good ‘ole Jay Leno newspaper clippings…too funny! Of course, I didn't get it at first...I was looking too much into it :) I was literally looking for number of reasons to validate my decision.

Needless to say...I'm not against nor would I make fun of those who don’t change their name, become hyphenators, or if they choose their husbands name. I can certainly understand the struggle.

I guess now, I'm glad I stuck with one tradition (since I seem to want to do everything un-traditionally), and that is…make myself a Dill. I still refer myself to, Tiffany Cross Dill and Andrew often asks, “When are you just going to be Dill?” I don’t know…maybe in a few years. He has finally agreed, though, that we do go through a lot of trouble. After all, I guess it's worth the trouble...I AM proud of my hubby and to be his juicy pickle :)

One of the few scavenger hunts on the island.

Cheap date: make your own neighborhood scavenger hunt. Our neighborhood is full of unique and cool homes, so we searched for the best Charleston-looking home, most modern, best view, ugliest, etc.

One of our AWESOME date nights at a fine Italian restaurant, Spindini, after a full triathlon workout!
Cheap date: Andrew has found great deals on restaurant gift cards online to some great dining...for Memphis gift cards, click here. He will find $50 gift cards for $12!! Or you can search Restaurants online for discounted gift cards throughout the U.S.

No matter if we have a good/bad day, easy/tough day, or just simply bored and out of it...we always find ways to spice it up with love, laughter, and adventures.