#1 Pray together daily.
This was the popular advice brought to me at my bridal brunch the day of our wedding. It makes the relationship literally stronger and healthy. I know we’re only 5 months into our marriage and some may say…just wait until 10-20-30 years, but it’s indescribable and our confidence in each other grows daily. We feel we have the strength to endure anything in our years ahead…with God by our side…anything is possible! So we continue to pray daily not only for our relationship but for our family, friends, health, our country, etc.
Marriage is definitely teamwork between 3 people: Husband, Wife, & God. Leaving out one seems like a recipe for disaster…well, maybe not dramatically, but I can see the loss of love, strength, faith, and hope especially during critical times in a relationship or life in general. Kind of like leaving eggs or sugar out of the cake…yuck! I expect this teamwork stays the same even after children come along…the more challenges, the more faith and love you need from your 2 strongest people. The book my grandparents’ gave us as a wedding gift, Couples Who Pray – The most intimate act between a man and woman, is a GREAT book! We read before bed and on Saturday mornings. They mention the 6 steps to a happy marriage…we’re doing great so far. Just need to pray that they all continue:
1. Laughter – always a good medicine even during illness
2. Appreciation – even for the smallest tasks or thoughts such as hanging pictures
3. Understanding – what we often lack but just give your undivided attention while talking to one another
4. God – with God at the center…the strand of 3 cords will never be broken
5. Honor – hold up your spouse above yourself…even above your career, family, friends, and children
6. Support – protect each other even during the crucial times of life
#2 Take a Dave Ramsey class together with Financial Peace University.
Andrew is a very classy, generous, and fashionable guy and I like to shop as well but we were both saving every month without really keeping a budget…not knowing how much we spend a month. Since we started Financial Peace University, we have been buckled to our budget and ask each other before we buy, “is it in the Dave Ramsey budget?” It has truly made a difference in how we think and spend our money. In fact, we have an entertainment and clothes budget and haven’t touched it…that’s how determined we are in saving money to pay off student loans and saving to eventually pay down a house or new car in cash! We also tithe and have a charity budget. Ramsey talks about mutual funds, insurance, savings, and all the things I’ve never really heard about. You’ll really learn how to invest and live a life without guilt or a large bill on your shoulder. It’s hard, but fun at the same time…set a goal and just reach for it. We’re only at baby step 2 but I just got new hearing aids…so we’ll have it paid off by the end of the year according to our budget – Yippee!!
1. $1,000 in an emergency fund
2. Pay off all debt except the house utilizing the debt snowball
3. 3-6 months expenses in savings
4. Invest 15% of your household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement plans
5. College funding
6. Pay off your home early
7. Build wealth and give
Saving money and knowing we’re going to pay off our future honeymoon, car, and eventually a house – having goals gives us the motivation to be creative with time and to be very frugal…like my mom.
#3 Make a meal you’ve never made before or eat out at a restaurant you’ve never been to before.
Being on a budget is hard but we still have fun making meals for the first time or trying out a new restaurant. The evening after Valentine's Day, I had a special Valentines dinner at Texas de Brazil (there’s only 13 in the nation). We haven’t eaten out for a month and a half. Andrew is already learning to use coupons…it was a $100 dinner we got for the price of one at $50! It was a very interesting and unlimited dinner…salad/appetizer bar and all the meat you’d like delivered to your plate by men in western looking gauchos carrying large skewers and a butcher knife! Definitely have to go without eating all day…we had a card flipped over on green when we’d like meat. It got to the point where we had to turn it over on red…we had to catch up on what we had on our plates…constant service! Andrew knows I love meat…so I got lamb, 3 different types of steak, pork, ribs, sausage, and chicken – plus a key lime pie! When he made the reservations, he even told them it was our 1st Valentines together as husband and wife – so they put us in the best seat in the house! Then we walked away thinking, how many more 1sts can we have this year and get treated like royalty.
#4 Add a little spice - be creative & spontaneous.
Yep…that means make your own lingerie or use what you already have. For Christmas, Andrew and I usually only do stocking stuffers…part of it was his wife in a homemade feather trim, felt skirt, a red ribbon top, and a little Santa’s hat. I had so much fun making it and it just came along as I was going through the materials department at Walmart…found green felt on clearance for $2, got some iron-on adhesive since I didn’t have a sewing machine for the hems. I had to sew one side by hand and just stuck on Velcro to hold the skirt together – no need for complicated zippers or whatnot. And the top…just a wide red ribbon – a fabulous $5 outfit that holds more meaning than the $50-$75 outfit from Vicky’s!
For his birthday, I already threw him a party on the night before his and made a couple of meatloaves, mac-n-cheese, and a chocolate truffle cake from scratch – yum! However, I had to work the night of his birthday, and checked my email before I got ready for the surprise gift…my mom asked if I knew what the standard birthday gift was? I didn’t know it was standard but good thing I brought a trench coat with dark make-up to work! After I told her my plan, she quickly emailed back, “Don’t have a wreck!” 30 min before I left…I created some gothy looking eyes, stripped down to my black lingerie under my trench coat, and giggly me left to head home despite passing a few housekeepers giving me thumbs up after seeing my short jacket, black heels, and spunky hair. I was a little nervous – because I was anxious :) I showed up at the front door and said, “you called for service.” That’ll work every time! Plus, I love him so much, I’d do anything to put a smile on his face or even a little laughter. I definitely got the creative side from my MeeMaw (who informed me I got it from Granny Blanc) and Mom!
I could go on, but…
#5 Make a complicated cake or dessert.
A wonderful chocolate truffle dessert cake recipe that was requested twice…is very good and not too sweet but rich from the Better Home and Gardens cookbook. FYI, the Kitchenaid mixers are a wonderful time saver and give the extra set of hands:
1 c. pecans, toasted and coarsely ground
1 c. graham cracker crumbs
¼ c. butter or margarine, melted
2 tbsps sugar
2 - 8oz. packages semisweet chocolate, cut up
1 c. whipping cream
6 eggs, beaten
¾ c. sugar
½ c. all-purpose flour
Whipped cream (optional)
1. Preheat oven to 325° F. Grease sides and bottom of 9-inch springform pan. For crust, in a medium bowl combine pecans, graham cracker crumbs, melted butter, and the 2 tbsps sugar. Press mixture onto bottom and about 1 ½ inches up sides of prepared pan; set aside.
2. In a large saucepan cook and stir chocolate and whipping cream over low heat until chocolate melts. Transfer the chocolate mixture to a medium bowl; set aside.
3. In a large mixing bowl combine eggs, the ¾ c. sugar, and the flour; beat about 10 minutes or until thick and lemon colored. Fold one-fourth of the egg mixture into chocolate mixture. Fold chocolate egg mixture into remaining egg mixture. Pour batter into crust lined pan.
4. Bake about 45 minutes or until puffed around edge and halfway to center (the center will be slightly soft). Cool in pan on wire rack for 20 minutes. Remove side of pan. Cool for 4 hrs. If desired, serve with whipped cream. Cover and store in refrigerator.
#6 Start a ritual or tradition – weekly or annually.
For the past 4 Christmas’, we have adopted Angel Tree (through the Salvation Army) children and had fun shopping for the kids that do not get a Christmas like most of us. What we would spend on each other for Christmas…we spend on a little boy and girl. This year…we did bikes and helmets!
We LOVE Saturday mornings! We sleep in, Andrew gets up whenever and doesn’t let me get up before he brings me coffee, omelet or scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, and just right gooey biscuits with jelly or apple butter. Then we talk, laugh, and read our book, Couples Who Pray. Saturday morning rituals in bed often last until noon! And not sure what we’ll do when kids come along…we’ll have to find a better time before a baby pickle comes in begging for cereal, chocolate milk, or whatever. Then we’ll usually work out, run errands, or hang out with his brother and his wife or our couple friends, Ashley and Jose. Needless to say, we cherish every moment together.
#7 Always look hot for each other!
We try not to get caught up in the sweats trend. Even if we’re going to the grocery or just run errands…we always dress nice for each other. I’ll even put on make-up since I normally don’t wear much to work. We play like we’re going on a hot date! It’s like playing dress up every day! Definitely keeps the fire going :)
#8 Keep dreaming!
Can’t live to the fullest without dreaming – learn from yesterday, laugh today, and dream about tomorrow! No one is ever too old to dream…it’s our secret to feeling young and vibrant. Plus, I like how my grandparents’ are living young at retirement and yes…they still dream :) My PeePaw is finally....but still slowly...beginning to relax and really enjoy a life of leisure. He and my MeeMaw act like newlyweds sometimes and everyday is filled with searches for a vacation home, trip or new hobby they can do together!
